The ride north was a little better than the one we had from the palace. my ass hurt a little less because of a handy little tid bit I had picked up from watching the others ride, and that was stand up in the stirrups every once in a while. My ass thanked me for it. The scenery didn't change much though. It still looked like northern Minnesota, even though Mark said that we were starting to get up into the mining country. The ground started to get rocky, but big deal. It's not like the rest of the path smooth.
    We had ridden until noon and mark decided that we should stop and eat something. Lunch was uneventful in events and food. Fruit, like always. It seemed that they lacked totally imagination when it came to feeding me. God damn, give me a pot and a stove and I’ll bring my own food to make. It was getting a little sickening just eating fruit all of the time, and salads. They were good but really.
    After lunch we rode for a couple more hours and then up to an inn. I assumed that that was where we were going to stay, and I was right. A couple guys came forward and took our horses. Francois took my bag before I could do anything about it, and started inside. I stared at him for a moment, thinking about what a freak he was and then I realized that he was just doing it as he was raised to. He had been raised as a gentleman and I guess that meant that he took girls' bags for them, even if they were perfectly capable of doing it themselves. I stalked after Mark and Francois, indignant that I was being treated like a five year old who couldn't carry a pound of sugar. So not true.
    This hotel/inn thing was just as nice as the last one we stayed in. The key was an old fashioned one and Francois took the spare just like last time. I didn't really pay attention to what the room looked like, because I didn't really care. I pulled out a book and headed downstairs to hand out with Stella and Mark, who were standing around a billiards table. Not being particularly good at any form of billiards game, I turned down any offer to play. I just sat in the corner and read, occasionally stopping to watch the game.
    Billiards was one of my weird pass times, not playing but watching. It was on ESPN every once in a while, usually when nothing else was on because of lack of programming, and I watched it. Never enough to know the player, but enough to know all the rules and technicalities.
    Mark won their first game, and in the middle of the second Francois walked in the room. He was also carrying a book, something in French that I couldn't read. No way of knowing what he was reading unless I asked. Damn, I hated asking people that. It was so weird when people took it the wrong way and thought that you were more interested in them than their book, and ninety percent of the time, that wasn't true for me. With François it was a fifty-fifty split, I wanted to know what he was reading and get to know a little more about him. It was hard just to ask him, because it seemed to make Zombies a little uncomfortable when people asked them about themselves. Maybe there was some code of conduct that I was misinformed on, but it seemed rude to ask anyone about themselves.
    I had asked Francois a couple questions that one time, but he had told me that it was rude to do so when I was asking. The only reason he had put up with that was because I was queen and he had to. He hadn't really asked me any in return either. No one had really asked me about myself since I had first come here, which I was just starting to notice. How strange was it that I considered all of these people nice and perhaps my friends, but I didn't really know anything about them?
    We spent a few more hours in the billiards room before we went to dinner. I ended up not asking Francois about his book. Dinner was pretty much the same as it had been at the other inn, a nice break from fruit and salads. There wasn't any meat in my food though, for which I was glad.
    After dinner I went up to my room, escorted by Francois under Mark's insistence, and read some more. It was still weird to be alone, but not too weird if I didn't think about it. Around nine I took a bath and went to bed, falling into an almost coma when I hit the pillows.
    For once since finding out about Steve I slept all the way through the night without dreaming about dying. It was quite restful, but I didn’t think that I would be getting to many more nights like that one until this was figured out.
    It a little after sun up when Francois came to wake me up. I was still sleeping when he opened the door and shook me awake. It took me a moment to figure out what was going on, and then when I did figure out who was waking me up, I panicked.    
    "What’s wrong?' I asked, panic clear to even me in my voice.
    "Nothing." Francois looked at me like I was being a freak. "It's time for breakfast."
    "Oh." I said and sat up, pushing my hair out of my face. "I slept." I said it like it was a strange habit to have.
    "Well?' Francois was setting a tray of something on the table in the corner.
    "Yes." I didn't have to lie about it.
    "That's good. I’ll leave you here to eat." Francois smiled and left the room. I wondered if he was standing just outside the door, or if he had really left me alone to eat. If he was standing outside the door there was no reason for him to stand there, he could just stay in the room with me while I ate. I sighed at Francois' particularities and went to see what he had brought me for food.
    I felt a little bit like an inmate being brought meals in my cell than a Queen being brought breakfast in bed.
    "Waffles." I said happily; glad to be rid of the oatmeal. That and waffles were one of my favorite breakfast food, not that Francois would know that because he had never asked. If Francois was outside of the door though, he could probably tell that waffles were my favorite by the tone in my voice. Or he was still in range of reading my thoughts like the little freaking Jedi that he was.
    God these waffles were good. What was with the Zombies being so good at cooking? Like the cupcake, it was like a party in my mouth. The moment I thought that, I tried to take it back, but my brain wouldn't let me. Nope, it said, you've already thought it and there's no going back now honey. I hated it when my mind used pet names for me; it just seemed to be pointless to me.
    Pulling on my shirt, I stuck the last bit of my toast into my mouth. The jam that had been spread on it tasted like it was home made, and was obviously strawberry. I wore another black t-shirt and jeans combo today as too keep all my good clothes from getting dirty. Who cared if I came out covered in coal dust, as long as I was wearing something that everyone, except for maybe Stella, seemed to think was ready for the trash. After getting dressed, I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair and then my teeth. It hurt a little to pull the brush through all of the knots that I had acquired from the previous night of sleep. It was a little embarrassing to have known that Francois had seen me like that.
    I even had a knot at the bottom of one shoulder blade from sleeping in the same strange position last night for too long. It was a little painful, but I was happy to have it as reassurance that I had slept. Smiling, I opened my door and paused, Francois was not outside my door. I was so sure that he was going to be there that it was a little weird that he wasn't there. Francois had really left me alone to eat, I wonder if mark had yelled at him about that or he had just noticed that he was being creepy.
    Walking downstairs, I decided not to give it too much thought. That would only get my thoughts going in circles and banging inside my head, giving me a headache. Everyone was still in the dinning room of the hotel, their plates empty, thank god. I wondered how long they had been done, and if they were waiting for me. Everyone was there and when I stepped into the room they all turned to look at me.
    "What’s happening?' I asked, wishing that I had said something a little less embarrassing that that.
    "We were just going over the day’s itinerary." Mark said. "Please sit down and we go over it with you."
    "Okay." My knack for saying dumb things seemed to be on the down, but I still wasn't clear.
    "We were going to go to the mine for a few hours, take a tour and everything, and then come back here for lunch." Mark suddenly made a little waving motion, and it took me a moment to realize that he was waving away who ever was on their way to bring me food. Thank Jesus Almighty.
   The mine was pretty cool. I liked the caves and shit. It was really dark and I couldn't see two inches in front of my face with the lights off. Other than that and tripping over my feet a few times it was pretty cool. They mined iron down there and I guess it did pretty well, but it was no where near as good of an export as the timber slightly to the south. Francois had to grab me by the elbow a few times to keep me from slipping on the wet stone and iron platforms that we walked on. The guy who gave us the tour was really nice, and he answered all of Mark's questions in the shortest way possible. It was awesome, because some of those questions that Mark asked could have been really boring.
    After the tour the guide took us to see the finished product and the place where they took it from pig iron to steel. It was kind of cool because while we were in the forgery the guy who worked there gave me a sword. Not that I had any practical use for the sword, but it was a nice gesture. And François looked impressed, so I assumed that it was a nice sword. He helped me belt it around my waist and showed me how to get it out of the sheath. While he was doing this I tried to say all the sword and fencing words I knew to try and impress someone. It didn't seem to work. I even swore that Francois started to shake his in shame. Great, there I went again, embarrassing myself.
    At least the guy who had given me the sword didn't look at me like that. It would have made everything tem times worse. He would have a good story to tell all of his friends about how stupid the new queen was when I left. And mark and Francois would laugh about it later when I wasn't around. It was all that I could do to keep them from laughing at me in front of me. The joys of being a stupid human girl acting as Queen for a land full of Zombies who were going to take every chance they could to laugh at me.
    I was glad that we went back to the hotel for lunch because after the mine, I was really tired. And hungry. Lunch was a simple salad, and after that Francois rushed me back to my room to pack. Apparently, we had to leave right away so we could get to the next stop before dark. Francois really didn't want to camp out. No communing with nature for these weary travelers.
    Suddenly, I found myself wondering if the animals down here were Zombie animals. Would they be hungry for my flesh? It wasn't long after that that I was on the floor of my room in a fit of giggles. The very thought of Zombie Squirrels attacking me was just too much. I could picture it clearly in my head.
    A tent, one of those green a-frame numbers, would be pitched in a picturesque meadow with wild flowers and all of that other dumb crap. The clouds would be fluffy, the birds would be singing, and the sky would be bright blue. It would truly be one of those movie perfect days that everyone pictured at some point or another. Mark and Francois would be cooking or killing something for dinner, which I would not be eating. Stella would be sewing something, because I don't know what else she was good at. I would be sitting on the ground, reading or something less useful than Stella, because that's what I did. Make a fool of myself and nothing beneficial. It would be a perfect evening, and just as we were all getting ready to retire for the night, the first squirrel of the evening would appear. 
    I would think that it was cute and coo at it. Then I would try to shoo it away because it was a little creepy that it kept staring at me. Francois would come and try to shoo it away too, mostly to protect me, and partly because he was a gentleman. Then I would notice that the squirrel had red eyes and I would shriek and push Francois in front of me because if I was going to die I wanted somebody to go first. Francois would pull out his sword and then the rest of the squirrels would advance.
    There would be hundreds of them, squirrels as far as the eye could see. With their screaming, beady, red, little eyes. All looking at me like I was lunch, and perhaps I was, but I like to believe that I’m classier than that. I prefer to believe that I was at least a three cores dinner at a very expensive restaurant, but maybe I was just delusional. It wouldn't be the first time that someone had told me that. Heaven forbid that they ever found out that I was a Zombie Queen, they'd flip their lid. 
    "Francois?" I would meekly whisper. "They don't want to hurt me do they?' At this point, Francois would try and be supportive, but it wouldn't sound convincing. Or perhaps he would whisper for me to run, that he could hold them back long enough for me to get to safety. He would sacrifice himself so that I might live. How noble.
    I would gladly run, being too scared to do anything else. Saving Francois would be the last thing on my mind, besides if they were Zombie Squirrels they would be more interested in me than they would be in him. Because he was a Zombie, and I don’t think that they would be very interested in eating him. And if they were it was really his own loss, he should have thought about that before he went and tried to save me. Not that I wouldn't be happy that he had saved me, but I would always look back and think it was rather stupid of him to do so.
    Luckily, the squirrels would have no interest in Francois at all for two reasons. One because he was a Zombie and there for inedible to them. Two he was not what any squirrel in their right minds would call attractive. Squirrels were a lousy judge of character anyway, so I didn't really care what they thought about Francois. He was a sweetheart and I would be glad to have him defending me against all of the evil Zombie squirrels. This still wouldn't stop me from running away, but would be thinking very brave and surviving thoughts at his as I did, which is what really what matters. Francois would want me to live on anyways.
    The whole thing practically had me in tears rolling on the floor of my hotel room. That's where Francois found me, in throws of laughter on the floor. He looked like he was going to shit a brick. His hand was on his sword, ready to pull it out and defend me if necessary. Instead I bet he was thinking that he would be the one needing protection.
    "Zombie squirrels.' I panted, trying to explain things to Francois, but that didn't seem to cover it. I would have to tell him the whole thing for him to even find the minutest bit of humor in it. "We were camping, and there were.' I couldn’t get a full sentence out due to the fact that when I started to tell Francois the story, it brought back the memories and I started to laugh all over again. 
    "Lucy? Are you alright? Should I call for Mark?" He was obviously trying to figure out what was so funny, and maybe mark could be some help with that. I didn't think mark would find it any funnier than Francois had, so I shook my head, which was all I could manage at that point. 
    I was no longer close to tears; they were streaming down my face. Francois was kneeling next to me, his fingers on my throat. His fingers were cold against my neck and that did a bit to sober me up, but I was still giggling. The images were still fresh in my mind and Francois' worried face did nothing to help that. It looked just like I had pictured it, all concerned and shit. That made me laugh a little harder. I think Francois thought that I couldn't take the pressure and had finally snapped. Maybe this was true, but his face was too perfect. 
    "Your face." I tried to tell him, but all that did was make Francois bring his hands to his own face like that would fix it. "It's just like I imagined it would be." I took in a gasp of air so I could finish what I was trying to say. "When you were protecting me from Zombie Squirrels." Francois still looked confused, but not so concerned.
    "Zombie squirrels?' he asked. I nodded.
    "They were trying to eat me." I said and continued to giggle. Francois looked like he was still considering going to get Mark, but then he must have looked out the window and noticed the time.
    "Are you packed yet?" Francois must have figured out that he wasn't ever going to make sense of anything I said, so he changed topics. That was a step away from thinking that I had cracked, so I went with it. I nodded. I had finished right before the idea of Zombie squirrels had hit me. It had occurred to me, at this point, that there couldn't be Zombie squirrels because that must mean that the horses we had been riding were Zombies too, and they hadn't tried to eat me yet, so I assumed that they weren't. "I'll bring your bag down then. You can join us after you've had a moment to collect yourself." Francois said after a moment.
    It did take me a minute to collect myself, and by collect I mean that I had to calm myself down enough that I could get up off of the floor and walk down stairs. I was still giggling, but even that was under control enough so that I could breathe regularly. Then I stumbled down the stairs to meet everybody before Francois could tell them that I belonged in a mental institution. Mostly, because maybe I did belong there. 
    "Hey." I said, mostly composed by now. Enough to talk without gasping for air.
    "Hello." Mark smiled. Obviously Francois didn't tell them about my earlier breakdown. Francois himself was busy trying my bag to the pack horse, making a a point not to look at me. This might have been a good thing because I probably would have broken into laughter again.
    We left the hotel and started to head to the south. It was going to be a long ride, and having learned another thing that was useful, I put my headphones in and turned on some tunes. Making sure Mark didn't catch on and make me take them off, I nodded and made agreeing noises every in a while so that he thought I was listening. At some point Francois must have caught on to what was happening because he stopped answering me questions after the third one I asked him to repeat.
    "Sorry, Francois." I said and paused the music that was playing from inside my pocket. "I didn't quite catch that." This was when he would repeat the question at a slightly elevated volume. I would smile, or make the correct facial expression, and answer.
    The country side was beautiful, but I had no interest in what anyone was saying. Let me enjoy my trees and shit in peace! I did take me headphones out once while we were riding, but this was more of a political thing that a politeness thing. We had ridden up on a pack of Werewolves that were traveling through Zombie Land, and I guess this wasn't anything new because Mark didn't seem to be phased. I had to talk to them once one of the Werewolves recognized me.
    Francois helped me off Sugar and I shook hands with both of the alphas, Elise and Sam. They were charming people and we talked for a while before Francois insisted that we had to leave so that we could reach shelter before dark. Damn, that boy really didn't want to sleep outside. He helped me back onto my horse, and after saying goodbye to the Wolf pack, I put my headphones back in. Vivaldi went so nicely with the scenery.
    The rest of the trip was uneventful, and when we got back to the palace I rushed to get back home and ready for school the next day. It was around nine when I got home, but my mom didn't ask any questions. I would have blamed it on Francois if she had, saying that he had asked me to meet him in the library after school so he could work on a paper for some class while I did my math. It was his fault that I was late with the whole trip thing going a little longer then we had expected and all. Francois wouldn't mind that much if I blamed him anyways, not that he was here to defend himself.